Grace Found Me

I can't even tell you how many times I've been wallowing in self-pity and thought to myself, I have nobody. I always come up second best and I'm tired of it. I really don't have a best friend...but oh yeah, I have God.
So basically, I tack Him on at the last minute, as a last resort at making myself feel better about the world.
But last night, as I was listening to the song "Grace Found Me" by Rush of Fools, I realized that I had it exactly the opposite of what it should be.
The lyrics are-

I get that things have changed
Yet I still feel the same
But I'm not alone

'cause Your grace found me
I thought I wasn't breathing
My heart now sings
'cause You chased for me
I never saw it coming but my eyes now see
Your grace found me

If You had given me up
I would have nothing left at all
Nothing to give of myself
No one to take my place
But You came along

"If You had given me up I would have nothing left at all". Those lyrics really just show how backwards my thinking was. I could have the world at my feet, hundreds of friends there to listen to me and talk to me 24/7, but if I didn't have God's grace, I would be nothing. Absolutely nothing. So the appropriate thing to be thinking is really "I have God's grace, that's really all I need, and oh yeah, He's blessed me with friends too!" 

Oh, and for the record, I do have absolutely wonderful friends. I just get stuck in that woeful mood sometimes.

I Hate Writing

Just kidding. But I do hate writer's block.
I actually haven't written anything in like...over a month, maybe?
It's really horrible. Even when I sign on here (when I actually have something to write about!) the words just...don't translate well from my brain to the computer (or paper, which I like the sound of much better).
The thing is, writing is my passion. Whatever I write, be it a story, a report, a letter, or just me venting about my daily woes, it gets all of my emotions out, because when I write, I feel free. Writing helps me forget about my problems, stress, etc.
And lately? I haven't been doing it. At all. Not even in a journal. I've barely written a grocery list. So I've been releasing my emotions in other, not so tasteful ways, such as yelling and laying upside down on my bed with headphones in.
Anyways, I have a lot of cool things that I've been wanting to write about on here, so hopefully I'll get to that soon. In the meantime, I'm going to try to shake this writer's block just by writing anything, so expect a few random posts here and there.
I hope ya'll are enjoying your summer as much as I'm hating mine! Kidding.
But not really.
;)

P.S.- I know something must be wrong with me because I haven't even been reading!

P.P.S.- That may have something to do with the fact I've been watching Merlin 24/7...

P.P.P.S.- Oh dear I'm turning into such a dork. Help me please.

Dear Future Me

So, my latest thing has been writing letters. Actually, it's not really anything new, but I've been doing it much more frequently lately. I don't even have a journal anymore, I just have a book full of letters to people. So I decided to write a letter to me in the future, and decided to share it on here as well.

Dear Naomi,

What year is it? Actually, knowing you (or me, or us...) it's probably only about three months later...but that's okay. Just wanted to remind you...us...of a few things to remember.
Don't hold grudges. I hope that any grudges I'm holding now, you're not holding when you read this. Learn to let go. Choose your battles wisely- not every fight is worth it. Don't be quick to judge; give people a chance before you write them off. Remember that appearance isn't everything, but sometimes, it can tell you a heck of a lot about a person.
Don't be pessimistic and negative about everything, always give hope and optimism a chance. Let yourself live; you don't always have to worry about every little thing. Maintain your drive (or, my drive) and strive to accomplish your goals, but make sure you're aware of any consequences  that may result. Don't push people away...you'll need them.
Remember that there's a time to be a perfectionist, but also a time to step back and see the beauty in the rawness of things.
Never lose your faith. Never forget that without God, you would be nothing. In every sense possible. Don't get a big head, don't think you can do anything without Him, and never be ashamed. Continue to grow in Him and take every step according to His perfect will. Don't try to deviate from His will just because you're impatient. Oh, and don't be impatient.
Continue to be yourself  but never stop striving to be the best you can be. Don't get discouraged and give up. 
And last but not least...for goodness sakes, stop falling in love. It's only going to get your hurt. Either hurt or angry, or annoyed, or all three. Wait until it feels right. Again, don't be impatient. Remember that boys are idiots. And that I (which means you) hate them most of the time. Don't be charmed by blue eyes...again. But do be charmed by a Southern accent. If you come across a Southern boy...accept his flaws and marry him. I mean it. I wouldn't forgive you if you didn't.
So (find a better word than "so", please, even if you have to come up with it yourself) marry a Southern boy, settle into a cozy house, adopt a hundred kittens (no, only three), follow and love God always, and live your dreams.

Sincerely,
Me.
or You.
or Us.
Kbye.

Learning to Fall

So, I feel like it's about time to come back to blogging...I can't promise that it will be as regular as it was before, but I think this post is a step in the right direction.

I found this on the blog of one of  the now-ex members of one of my favorite bands-

i ran and i ran 

25 years and You slowed me down
i’ve got the endurance of an athlete
with a toddler’s concept of the world
i dreamed day and night about space in my cardboard rocket-ship
realist tried to steer me away from the man in the moon but i was determined to get there.
but flying wasn’t for me.
flying was for everyone around me. flying made me scared .. for falling was a long way to the ground.  flying grew hair upon my chin. flying grew me closer to Him. flying made me trust in the wings that surrounded me … company that knew me better than my own skin. flying made my parents proud. flying made my grandparents doubt. flying thankfully made tears flow and immaturity show from no longer significant faces.
i’ve found i’m more of the walking type. don’t for one second doubt that I don’t spread my wings & close my eyes when a summer breeze hits every now and then. it’s funny how different things look from a bird’s eye view compared to two legs on the ground. life is slower but still equally thrilling. grass and sand belong beneath my toes .. the clouds are beautiful, i’m just more of a simple man.
and when they ask, cause I know they will ..
i’ll just smile and tell them joyfully, 
I flew with confidence and courage because of the wings that surrounded me. 

Sometimes I wish I could write with such reckless abandon- not caring about grammar or sentence structure or capitalization-  only worrying about capitalizing "You"... writing only to express my complete awe and reverence of God and of the life He's given me and of the lessons He is continually teaching me. And don't get me wrong, I do write about these things...but not like that. I take care to make sure that all of my words are up to my standard, when really I should be remembering that I should be striving to reach His standard.
So maybe that's the step I need to take- letting go. Maybe I need to learn to let my writing reflect my true, raw feelings more often, and not my A in English. Maybe I need to learn to write without caution, without thinking about it.
I'm not even going to try to find a good way to end this...because that, of course, would mean putting a whole lot of thought into this.
But there is one thing that is on my mind that I suppose will suffice as an end to this post- a few days ago, it was announced that two of the members of one of my favorite bands (Since Forever) would be leaving. Today, they released their farewell statements, and the last words in both of their statements struck a chord with me. The first were-

"I beg you to follow your dream because the reward of the journey is far greater than the fear of the what if."

And the second-

"Live life to the fullest.  Cherish every memory.  Take risks.  Dream Big. Don’t be afraid to fail.  
God loves you and so do I." 

It is...

It's so sad that I can't even come up with a good title for this post. Sheesh.
Anywho, here are a few pictures displaying all the things I've been doing in lieu of writing...all taken on my phone, which has become my steadfast companion during this dreary season everyone else seems to love.

I've been playing with my ridiculous cat, who also seems to understand how bored I am. 

 I've been using up my massive paper supply.

I watched this movie the other night and remembered that this had always been one of my favorite parts. Can you guess what movie it is? Because I'm totally not saying ;)

Self explanatory...clearly my goal to finish last month was not achieved.

So...out of everything...this is the weirdest thing in the world. Notice the genre. Now, if you know me, then you know that out of all the music in the world, Country music was always the one genre that I wasn't so crazy about. In fact, I almost hated it. And now? I can't get enough of it. I seriously listened to it for about three hours last night.


A few other things that I've been doing that I did not capture pictures of are...

• Driving. A lot. I have yet to schedule drive time with an instructor, which I really need to do, but I've been driving on like...main roads. And I'm still alive! :) 
• Freaking out about the fact that the very last Harry Potter movie comes out this week. And that a Dark Knight Rises trailer is supposed to come out on Thursday.
• Reading very predictable books. 
• Hating very predictable books. 
• And lastly...trying to figure out what classes I want to take in the fall. It's kind of agonizing to have to think about it, but unfortunately, I do. 

Okay! So you probably won't hear from me until I'm out of this...weird...phase where I can't find any inspiration to write. So until then, I hope your Summer is going tremendously!

Uhhh.

That awkward moment when you haven't blogged in a long time and you can't think of a decent title...

Okay, so if you haven't noticed...I gave up on the 30 day challenge. I didn't like it. So I stopped. And I haven't blogged about anything else lately, but I'll get to that at the end.

I am just here to share this video that I found and have now watched repeatedly. I usually find most Adele covers completely and utterly unacceptable and just...bad. But I actually don't mind this one because it's something different and not somebody trying to be Adele, ya know?
So anyway...I wanna marry him (but what else is new). But then I found out he's married. So now I have to come up with an elaborate plan to split them up and steal him or invent time travel and prevent him from getting married in the first place get over it and move on...tsk tsk.

So back to what I was saying before about not blogging a whole lot...I really haven't been writing much at all. I've written a few things here and there, but I've been feeling uninspired. And I can't try to force myself to write or it ends up atrociously. So I'm taking a break from writing long, drawn out posts for a while, butttttt...I'm thinking about doing a photo blog for a change? Just one. While I charge through my no-writing phase...we shall see. Stay tuned for whatever elaborate plan I come up with to split up that guy and his wife and steal him or my invention of time travel in order to prevent him from getting married in the first place  I end up deciding on :)

30 Day Challenge. Day Four.

People's Misconceptions About Me.

Now...I'm not going to try and pretend that I always know what people are thinking about me. Because I don't. But a lot of people think I'm shy and quiet all the time, which is completely untrue.

That's all, really...I honestly don't know what people think of me...because I usually don't ask. So yeah. Short post.