Change Change Change

I once read in a book that when something is spoken three times, it's established forever.

So let me just take a moment to say, "Dear Change, stop, stop, stop."

For anyone who knows me, you know I have a serious aversion to change. Maybe it's because I've already been through enough change in my life to last me forever, or maybe I'm just too lazy to adapt to change. But I'm thinking it's more of the first one. And even if you don't know me tremendously well, I've talked about change tons of times on this blog and about how much I hate it.

I know change is usually supposed to be a good thing. Changes mean progress, moving on, moving up, and growing. But sometimes it's just painful to deal with.

The past few months, I've had to completely step up to the plate and prioritize and rearrange things in my life in order to get all of my work done and fulfill my responsibilities. That was a change that really needed to happen, even if I was resistent to it at first.

Last week, I was filling out forms for my school and it said "Grade Entering"...I almost had a heart attack as my shaking hand scribbled "12" in the tiny slot.

Today, the seniors left, and my class was given the charter to step up to the plate as the rising seniors.

In the past weeks, I've had to make a decision about whether or not to make changes to a certain relationship in my life. After months of thinking change was exactly what that relationship needed, I couldn't. Because I needed that one thing in my life to stay the same. The same, safe, and stable.

Everybody around me is changing. Progressing. Moving on and moving out.

Everything around me is changing. Spring is slowly morphing into Summer, circumstances are changing, there's been a shift in the weather and it's not going back to how it was.

And for once in my life, I'm moving with the change. I might be doing so begrudgingly, but I'm doing it. And as much as I hate it, it's okay. I know that this next year is going to be absolutely full of hard decisions and change and I need to start prepping myself for that right now. Otherwise I will absolutely fall apart.

And right now, I'm sitting in my room, the window open, talking to the best friends in the world and listening to old school Jonas Brothers.

And time stands still, even just for a moment.